Many people think this song is making fun of made up maladies. In fact, at the time of this writing, the Wikipedia entry for this song claims that this is the meaning. I couldn't disagree more. Many of the things listed as maladies are not diseases, they are symptoms of Industrial Disease, which is a form of capitalism that has turned everything into a huge industry to further profits for the few at the top. I don't think Knopfler is against capitalism like the type where we all open small booths in a flea market and sell our wares. He is speaking against what the huge corporations and the “try to become a millionaire at any cost” mentality that our current form of capitalism and our whole society pushes. Knopfler wrote the soundtrack to “Wag the Dog”, a movie about the government and media creating a fake war. He also wrote the soundtrack to “Local Hero” about how a business putting refineries off the coast would destroy a quaint small town. He tells the story of how Ray Kroc took the McDonald brothers' idea of a family burger joint and turned it into a win at all costs money making machine in the song “Boom like that”.
The first few stanzas seem to be alluding to an industrial accident and a worker uprising, but I think he may be using the industrial accident as a metaphor for an economic depression/recession. He talks about people sneezing, some come out in spots, and people with real health issues like smoking, drinking, depression and imaginary ones like Bette Davis Knees but they are all symptoms of Industrial Disease. The doctor diagnosis the next patient without seeing them, saying to send in the next victim of Industrial Disease. He knows that whatever they complain about is just a symptom of how we are living by taking in polluted air and water, living in a work till you die society with little free time and extremely high stress that drives people to smoke, drink and eat unhealthy diets. Most of our maladies are caused from an unhealthy lifestyle and being born into a society that dictates we get good grades so we can get a high stress job and work ourselves to death in industries that our polluting our environment and killing us. It is interesting to note that this song was written a few years after the Environmental Protection Agency was formed in the US because the rivers were so polluted they were catching on fire and a few months before the worst industrial accident in history at Bhopal, India.
Warning lights are flashing down at Quality Control(There as been an industrial accident or more generally there is a problem with quality, the quality of our modern lives. In business and in life since so much of our lives are controlled by business, computers and rules we work our lives away to make others rich, and they own the governments and media and keep feeding us a story about how great our lives are)
Somebody threw a spanner and they threw him in the hole(There is a wrench in the system like an industrial accident and they punished him. Or could be a worker refusing to work and starting a union)There's rumors in the loading bay and anger in the town(people are talking and getting wise to the scam and they are angry)Somebody blew the whistle and the walls came down(whistleblower — when an insider (worker) brings proof of illegal activities of the employer, but I think it means the whole system is unethical behavior; walls came down — no more secrecy, protection or privacy to continue unethical activity — this is taking on a whole new meaning now since the internet and workers and people in other countries can talk to each other online)There's a meeting in the boardroom they're trying to trace the smell(Boardroom — those who profit from the unethical activity; trace the smell — find the leak, whose telling on them so they can silence the source)There's leaking in the washroom there's a sneak in personnel(leaking in the washroom — play on words -ha ha; sneak in personnel — sneak means you don't want others to see what you are doing, what goes on in personnel? Relationship with employees. Hiring, firing, complaints, benefits, etc. They try to get people just smart enough to do the job, but stupid or desperate enough to do it for the cheapest wage. They pretend to care and use your own words to fire you. Or someone in personnel is telling people what other are being paid. Sneak. Nowadays personnel is called what it really is, human resources, because they use us up and spit us out just like other resources, lumber, iron, chemicals etc.)Somewhere in the corridors someone was heard to sneeze(sneeze is a sudden outburst — the workers are mouthing off )'goodness me could this be Industrial Disease?(Industrial Disease used here in the 1% vs the 99% context — all the maladies spoken about have the same root source, stress, anxiety, toxic surroundings, slave type environments, the industrialization as a lifestyle is the problem)
The caretaker was crucified for sleeping at his post(they found a scapegoat to pretend they fixed the problem and crucified him as an example)They're refusing to be pacified it's him they blame the mostThe watchdog's got rabies the foreman's got fleas(caretaker — could mean government as their role as regulator, when industrial accidents or recessions occur people wonder why government didn't prevent it. Watchdog has rabies, attacks from the media, who are supposed to be the watchdogs for society; foreman's got fleas — position halfway between workers and management, he's been infected)
And everyone's concerned about Industrial DiseaseThere's panic on the switchboard tongues are ties in knots(we all talk and complain about our work, work, work society and business owning government, but we don't do anything)Some come out in sympathy some come out in spots(some have compassion and understand the problem, those that disagree are sores to the system “come out in spots” and vilified as troublemakers)Some blame the management some the employeesAnd everybody knows it's the Industrial Disease(it's not just one person or group it's the driving force and the system itself that is the problem)
The work force is disgusted downs tools and walks(either there is no work or the union just went on strike)Innocence is injured experience just talks(big business doesn't care about workers or customers or safety. Experienced people know the system is a sham and the experts on tv discuss economic graphs but never get to the root of the systemic problems)Everyone seeks damages and everyone agrees(the situation is hurting everybody)That these are 'classic symptoms of a monetary squeeze'(looking for answers in economic or fiscal policies)On ITV and BBC they talk about the curse(looking for answers in superstition — or imaginary things like Adam Smith's invisible hand)Philosophy is useless theology is worse(looking for answers in Philosophy/Theology)History boils over there's an economics freeze(Looking for answers in History)
Sociologists invent words that mean 'Industrial Disease'(Why mention Sociologists? They study human societies. They won't say our society is sick, they make up euphemisms for it.)Doctor Parkinson declared 'I'm not surprised to see you here(Parkinson's disease was generally thought of as a disease that only came about in modern times after industrialization and poisons in our environment. This isn't actually true, it's symptoms have been recorded for over 2000 years, but may be why Knopfler called the doctor Parkinson. We have many other diseases that haven't appeared until after industrialization and others that have gotten much worse, like cancer)You've got smokers cough from smoking, brewer's droop from drinking beer(cigarettes and beer are now manufactured in huge quantities, industries unto themselves and even though they are unhealthy — actually forms of poison, are ingested in massive quantities for reasons some say to calm down and others say as a suicidal death wish)I don't know how you came to get the Betty Davis kneesBut worst of all young man you've got Industrial Disease'(Betty Davis knees is made up like one of the phony syndromes, but the real root cause is Industrial Disease — ie your unhealthy, work yourself to death in your unsafe factory lifestyle)He wrote me a prescription he said 'you are depressedBut I'm glad you came to see me to get this off your chest(this person is stressed out from work but there is nothing else wrong with them. Their job and lifestyle sucks but they need to work so the Dr makes some money by giving them an anti-depressant and sending them back to work — which is the real problem)Come back and see me later - next patient pleaseSend in another victim of Industrial Disease'(Dr is making money off of this and knows the problem of the next patient without even seeing them. Whatever the symptoms are, Industrial Disease is the root problem)I go down to Speaker's Corner I'm thunderstruckThey got free speech, tourists, police in trucks(If we have free speech why isn't anyone talking about this and changing things? Why are there police? Because they are the enforcement arm of the wealthy and suppress free speech)Two men say they're Jesus one of them must be wrong(religion doesn't make sense, it is a lot of double talk, pretends to comfort poor but rarely organizes marches to change conditions — two jesus' perhaps talking about Anglican vs Catholic or jesus as friend of commoner — unions perhaps gov't unions vs private unions)There's a protest singer singing a protest song - he says'they want to have a war to keep us on our knees
They want to have a war to keep their factoriesThey want to have a war to stop us buying JapaneseThey want to have a war to stop Industrial Disease(This song is so ahead of it's time considering the new war on Terror. Governments like war, real war and economic wars for industry and declaring war on Drugs, poverty, obesity etc because it gives governments more power and they use the War on Whatever as an excuse to raise taxes and curtail freedoms)They're pointing out the enemy to keep you deaf and blind(These Wars and the enemies are just more distractions — look at the number of cameras in London and the Patriot Act in the US — the real enemy is the government and big business teaming up to enslave us)They want to sap your energy incarcerate your mind(If you work people hard enough they are too tired for revolution. And they are too busy to pay attention to how they are being screwed. After just a few generations, people think it's normal to study in school for half their lives to get a job and make other people rich and bowing down to an increasingly oppressive government. Your individual creative energy is used learning and doing things that make them profit and keep you in a helpless position and dependent on a system that benefits them and hurts you)
They give you Rule Brittania, gassy beer, page three(from: "Rule, Britannia! rule the waves: "Britons never will be slaves." Means nationalism. Gassy bear - drugs to forget unethical behavior of corporations and governments and our participation in them and our miserable lives as indentured servants to this system. Page Three: sensationalized corporate/government pr disguised as news)Two weeks in Espana and Sunday striptease'( out of 52 weeks you only get 2 weeks holiday, and some time off on weekends)Meanwhile the first Jesus says 'I'd cure it soonAbolish Monday mornings and Friday afternoons'(while cutting back work would help it won't solve the problem, during economic downturns some companies / unions cut the number of hours worked so they don't have to lay off workers)The other one's on a hunger strike he's dying by degreesHow come Jesus gets Industrial Disease(religions are big money and part of the systemic problem, or again jesus might represent two unions Trade Unions vs Gov't employee Unions)